Inter-Livery Petanque Competition
30th July 2026Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens
The Pipe Dreamers take on the Livery: All proceeds to the Lord Mayor's Appeal
Oh là là! Our Clerk is always quick off the mark, and again managed to secure one of the 35 coveted team places for the annual Inter-Livery Petanque Competition, held in the parched and dusty Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens. The event is hosted by the Worshipful Company of Distillers with the support of the Vintners, and the refereeing skills (including tape measure) of the London Petanque Club to ensure that no fights break out amongst the competitors.
Last year, the Tobacco Pipe Makers were the beaten semi-finalists, so there was a reputation to uphold! Unfortunately, we couldn't uphold it (sorry Charles).
Together with Past Masters Roger Brookes and Elise Rasmussen we entered as The Pipe Dreamers, with Consort Simon taking on the vital role of Refreshments Manager and Cracker the Jack Russell proudly serving as team mascot. Complete with personalised T-shirts and resplendent in our velvet smoking hats, we arrived hoping not only for sporting success but at least victory in the much-coveted fancy dress competition.
Sadly, even that ambition was to remain unfulfilled!
On the sporting front, we were comprehensively beaten in the opening round by an expert and highly competitive team of well-practised and beautifully turned-out Clerks. We then entered the Plate competition, where we faced the ladies of the Coopers’ Apprentices. This was a much closer encounter, although owing to the onset of darkness, the match was brought to a sudden conclusion by the organisers before we had a chance to stage the dramatic comeback we'd been planning!
Two early defeats did provide us with plenty of time to enjoy the real purpose of the evening: friendship, food and refreshment. Our picnics had travelled from Bath, Yateley and Knebworth. Elise brought her legendary fried chicken drumsticks. The Vintners kindly provided rosé wine, while complimentary Pimms added to our collection of non-alcoholic fizz and beer.
The fancy dress competition was another near miss. We were beaten by a mixed team of Masters dressed as traditional French onion sellers. The judges were clearly persuaded by one crucial detail: their magnificent stick-on moustaches remained attached to their upper lips throughout the evening. We were justifiably grumpy in defeat.
The Plaisterers won the overall competition, but The Pipe Dreamers returned home with the knowledge that our outfits, hats and mascot had been admired by the majority, even if not by the judges!
At the end of the evening we trailed back to the Travelodge in Vauxhall carrying boules, picnic chairs, cool bags and one very tired and slightly over-snacked Jack Russell. The view from our bedroom into Vauxhall Station just 20 metres away was like standing on the nearest platform, with the trains almost in touching distance. Quite astonishing, as was the view of an Elephant and Castle from the window by the lift. Unsurprisingly we left at 0600 the following morning for the drive home and were back in Bath by 0915.
No trophies this year, but a splendid evening of Livery laughter and good company. The Pipe Dreamers may not be petanque champions, but we certainly know how to enjoy the occasion!